Howdy, Madtown Mob! Well, it's Saturday, so what are ya doin' on the computer??? I've been told that "you can't take me anywhere" so often that I've decided to change, so here's my new kinder, gentler ME!

A KINDER, GENTLER BUCKSHOT

By me.

I used to use profanity

To spice up my discourse

One of my very favorites

Would always start with “horse”.

Whenever I would use it

In company polite

I always stood sequestered

The remainder of the night.

But now I’ve changed; become refined

I’ve found out what to say

To express my inner feelings

In a kinder, gentler way.

Whenever I hear something

That’s so shocking and obtuse

That it instantly reminds me

Of the back end of a moose

I never use profanity

For now I simply say

“That’s just so much OBAMA”

Then I turn and walk away.